You know what I think would be really cool?
Having been born on January 1st.
Every year, 90% of the western world would count down the remaining seconds to the day of your birth. Live. On Television.
And Ed McMann would be there
And people would light fireworks
And then everyone would kiss
And drink champagne all night long
In the streets of New York
And the Irish would get wasted
And the Danish would get wasted
And the Mongolians would be getting wasted
And the Aussies would be wrestling crocodiles
Wasted
And then everyone would get the day off
We'd all wake up the next morning and be like
Whoa. Why am I sleeping in the street
And then everyone would go out to brunch
And all the restaurant staff would be hungover
And your eggs benedict would take 2 hours to come
But it wouldn't matter
Cause you'd be oddly content in jabbering around making silly faces in your spoon
And then cotton candy would shoot out of a volcano
And tacos would crap ice cream
If my birthday was on January 1st.